Well the candle wax mightve been sexy if he didn't drop the candle and light half my bed on fire
making cat noises will not fix the situation.
I don't know. I guess at the end of the day I wanted taco bell more than a boyfriend.
Totally get that.
So I'm up to masturbating three times a day, drunk textin my ex, not doing any hw and I've failed half of my tests so far
Sounds better than last semester
So... he formspringed me a link to every nude pic ive taken since he 8th grade. ive evolved nicely. but im nervous as to how this a website.
Guess who left Professor Cunt on their paper by accident?
Gregs sitting in the living room in his underwear hitting the bong watching a rob schneider movie. His lack of fuck giving is inspirational
How are you not embarrassed to know me. I'm a mess right now. I'm a walking, talking tornado of embarrassment
I've somehow found myself in an emotionally abusive relationship with a married man who gives me drugs.
My life is quickly turning into a Lifetime movie.
I love when groups of boys part so I can walk through. It's like a red sea of penises, and I am their Moses.
Successfully defrauded the county government. What have you done today?
I need to start a penis folder so I stop "accidentally" showing people my junk. On a side note- St. Pattys penis was a hit, four leaf clover and all.
i got kicked out of the casino for drunken disorderly conduct because i kept stumbling into old people and one of them told on me. as the boucer was taking down my information so i could no re-enter i ripped my id out of his hands while yelling fuck you.
After we won that round of beer pong you attempted to swallow the winning ball whole claiming you had the mouth and jaw of a snake.
A snake? I must've been gone...
After that you got naked and hissed at people the rest of the night..
So I was having a really bad night...so I decided to steal a pumpkin.
Randomize
