Did you ever feel like going into a planned parenthood and performing an abortion in front of them?
Umm..who the fuck is this?
Oh shit
ask me if i forgot to go to a midterm today
He just kept telling me how to do certain things. It was like I was fucking my sex ed teacher
I can blatently call girls sluts here and they think i'm speaking norwegian
He like walks around to open car doors for me. Has already held my hair while I barf and still likes me. What. Is. Happening.
if by "adventure" you actually mean "getting ridiculously high and shaving our legs," then yes.
1. Sorry about making it snow. 2. If it left a mess, I will be over to clean it. 3. Can that fire extinguisher still be used? If not, I'll buy a new one. 4. I just wanted to make it snow!
I can't tell if I'm hungover or if my cat just knocked the lamp on my face
Coming to you live from the floor of my office..
You see it tends to piss fathers off when they find their daughter in the arms of a shirtless guy that neither he nor his daughter knows.
It takes a special kind of Adderall to make me go to the hardware store, buy paint, and paint tiny polka-dots on all four of my bedroom walls.
Is it bad that I'm a 32 year old woman that is so afraid of commitment that a hamster is too much responsibility?
After we finished having sex, he drunkenly tried to hugh five me, farted, then accused me of stealing his socks.
It's almost like sex was the ice breaker and now we're sociable at the gym
I got her number but I don't think I'll be able to smash, I was pretending to be British AND I forgot her name
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