I just met lou reed's venus in furs. Her hands are slippery.
We named our party play list daddy issues
She said her hobbies include bangin guys on one night stands and then sending them facebook relationship requests the next morning just to freak em out
They invented the twister shot game. You put a shot on each circle, take it when you land on it, and if you fall, they funnel the mat and make you drink it. New best friends.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I found him in his pink and white boxer out side the dorm hall and the only thing he said was "it wouldn't let me in"
He let me keep my Michael Jordan Bulls jersey on during sex.
At 12:16 am. We just got out of the truck and went behind it and fucked. With 3 people in the truck. On the side of the road. As cars drove by.
He's so vague sometimes. Like dude, we've been friends for 3 years. I don't need you to be vague, I need you to be inside of my vagina.
LOOK AT MY ASS AND LEGS IN THIS SKIRT. I KNOW ALL THE BEST HIDING SPOTS IN THIS BUILDING. AND I OFFER TEQUILA.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The port-o-potty that I peed in last night didn't actually have a toilet in it. And i never told anyone until this moment.
I woke up to Dragon Ball Z playing in Portuguese and a donut shish-kebab~ed on a dick in my face.
Grandma is high again and locked herself in the house
Shit happens dude.
Shit doesn't just HAPPEN on the kitchen floor you asshole.
He still want's to kick my ass for fucking his sister, probably a bad idea to leave the bar with his ex...
Last night I realized I made a dick appt 2 MONTHS IN ADVANCE!!!!....... WHO THE HELL DOES THAT!?!? LMAO!
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