I mean i stumbled out of the club yelling at random people" I"M GOING TO TEACH YOUR KIDS SOMEDAY!!"
And thats what homeschooling is for
I hate to say it, but I think my pandora being Marvin Gaye love songs was the prime reason for the bj last night
is it just me, or are high schoolers getting sexier?
This morning I saw a frozen puddle in front of my RA's door and I laughed, assuming someone poured water in hopes that she would slip and fall. That's when my roommate told me I had peed there last night. Thank you Captain Morgan!
He told me he was a psychology major, and I responded by asking him where he hid his vagina.
His foreplay reminded me too much of breastfeeding.
Next time you think about divorce, consider this: a hot guy just walked in and I tried to suck in my back fat.
She told me that for every Ravens touchdown, I'd get to come once.
Marry her. Marry her now. I'll help you steal the ring.
Best feeling in the world is getting a random boob pic from a drunk chick at 3 am.
Lol he touched my butt after his grad party and a shooting star went by. No kidding. My ass is mystical.
I love that there are toys on the counter. Coffee, tea, wine bottles, gag ball, and handcuffs.
My kitchen gets me.
I pack a first-aid kit when I DD for you. What does that tell you about your partying? For what I see and do, paying my food and gas for the night is a goddamn BARGAIN.
Moral of the story - don't craft naked. Your nipples with thank me.
I literally heard an 'oh my god' when the shirtless Tongan appeared.
I currently don't understand fingers.
Randomize
