he just booty called me in advance instead of waiting til 3 am when hes trashed. i think thats really considerate and gentlemanlike.
no.. I went home. Puking up hot dogs and lemon tart isn't as lovely as it sounds.
it was like weight watchers had a halloween party.
After we did it I noticed she was wearing the same underwear as last night.
That's why you don't sleep with the same girl two nights in a row man!
I vomited in the sink and my bra was in there...I don't even have words to describe this hangover confusion
and thats when we got a drunken mammogram in the middle of cvs pharmacy
Today's face brought to you by last night's make-up.
Its that time of year where we just drink more instead of dressing warmer
Well I found you sipping ron diaz out of a child's dinosaur cup while sticking your fingers in the guy's fish tank and watching the "pirahnas" snap at your finger and laughing
Pretty sure encouraging you to sleep with 2 different girls while keeping you in the good graces of both has lost me the ability to call myself a woman. But that's just the kind of friend I am; dedicated.
my boss just accepted "because it's 4/20" as a legitimate reason to take Friday off
I try new drugs instead of new boys. That way you can't scold me about the importance of condoms
I am stoned at Disneyland with my little brother. It's gonna be a good day.
We played a 4 hour game of True American then we fucked on the floor for a couple hours Happy 20th to me
At one point in the night, as we were running from the cops, I clearly remember you yelling "little gnomes are tickling the insides of my body!" ...that high.
Randomize
