woke up naked, spooning with wine bottle.. and my video chat was still open. fuck, not again.
he matches the description of mystery hookup #2, 4, and 7
We are possibly on our way, unless we see the limo full of strippers.
Sorry I sent so many blank messages. My hands are slippery. Don't ask why.
I was ready to fuck him until he pulled the "I might be bi curious" card. Now its turned into a guilt fuck. It's like he's a 3rd world child in need of a sexual orientation.
We thought we were getting kicked out but then he started tickling the bouncer. Next thing you know the bouncers giving him a piggy back ride to the bar.
You're always so generous when it comes to your dick.
If you say no to drinking on a Monday then I'm going to take you to the hospital for a MRI
There still is not and there never will be anything as magical as getting high while listening to William Shatner's version of Bohemian Rhapsody.
Buying her a drink is like giving a seagull a French fry, all you're gonna do is get annoyed and shit on
did you just correct my grammar and then send me a photo of your dick?
that is either the most profound and meaningful thing i've ever heard, or someone got high before noon again.
I just bought a blender and 120 pizza rolls. Bring tequila.
Besides, I'm booked tomorrow. I'm planning on drinking heavily and crying in the bath.
In theory, it seemed like it would work.
Randomize
