OMG. Drunk.
I'm so glad you fill me in on these things.
Sorry. Must've been trying to twitter.
Best walk of shame ever. Not only did I not remember his name or the fact that we fucked, they all watched as I tried to get into 3 cars that werent mine
Oh and I threw up on myself...
it's like i can feel the ghost of his dick still inside me
he just made me youtube cheetahs running and he thinks he is in a pool
This is the time you want your cat to have telepathy with you. To know if the guy downstairs left.
the only thing you and i have in common is the we like weed and looking at my naked body.
"Bring the kids" is the most terrifying 3 words I've ever heard in my life.
Yeah. I don't think I have anything left in me tho. I think I was throwing up tangible memories at one point.
Nothing says Merry Christmas like gifting a bottle of rum and finishing it yourself then leaning over at the dinner table to puke it back up.
Thanks for the hickies, asshole. I make my living as a fitness instructor. It's gonna look reeeeeeal weird if I have to wear a scarf while teaching Zumba all week.
Just at the gym drinking. We call it treadmillcolada
Just had empanadas for breakfast while watching Wall-e with my yesterday's one night stand mother AND grandmother.
Hooked up with a guy that looked like Dean Thomas. Mediocre at best, but I stopped myself from calling him Dean in bed. So I got that going for me.
Talking to a customer about getting high and staring at glow in the dark wheels while there is a cop in the store. Just another day in Tampa
Profesor just winked at me. This class might be easier than I thought
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