Lost. The hour! Funtime!!!!
my phone needs a breathalizer
loyola was giving a tour this morning and they all saw me in a half ripped off toga throwing up over the side of the dorm stairs
you don't even go to loyola anymore
saw a man at the beach in a red speedo. when he rolled over he unintentionally displayed a HUGE skid mark.
just found a sign outside my brothers door "not going to church, don't even try" and he is covered is vomit in his bed.
When I stretch out her lips her vagina looks like a dolphin...this birthmark is awesome
Im gonna need you to always be ready for drinking or this will never work. grow up peter pan.
well, the two that sent pics I've already been with, so at least its not just BAM HERE'S MY PENIS IN YOUR INBOX ENJOY THOSE MEGAPIXELS
He fucked me so hard I had an asthma attack. I'm like the sickly poster child for celibacy.
FONT CPME TO THE TRUK. I REPATE SONT COME TO THE TRUCK WERE GETTON FRAEKY
Sometimes I think about the fact that I lost my virginity while watching anime and I wonder what that says about me
We broke up. And I told him he better give me my fucking star wars movies tomorrow. Priorities.
Mike fell asleep with his hand down my pants. I'm clearly an enticing person.
Im goin to jail bro ill talk to u sun
Just found out a shooting happened in our parking lot while it was closed this morning. So thaaaaaaaaats fun.
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