If its called oral, why is it so hard to talk?
There comes a time in every girls life when she must use her boobs for good instead of evil.
Your pregnant arnt you
You know you're a nerd when you lose track of how many times you've gotten turned on watching Glee.
I knew her barely 30 minutes before we got naked. This whole fraternity thing is starting to grow on me...
don't think this is any sort of attachment thing but if I'm going to throw up regularly at your house, I'm going to keep a tooth brush there
She sent me a text saying she picked out 17 different Halloween costumes for our kids when they hit the age of 4... The cling factor should have me running right now but honestly I'm just curious
Sorry about that whole "setting your deck on fire" thing.
My team for a project is gonna have weekly meetings at a bar. yessss. they will do all the work while i thor hammer down beers.
I now have a full length bright red cape in my possession. Best sex trophy ever.
Great sex, the promise of us mixing our excellent genetics in the future, and access to drugs are mainly what's holding this relationship together at the moment
So do you know how we found out he was engaged?
An Amber Alert?
Im part way to drunk.
I may be a feminist, but I am not above using my body to distract you if it means I might beat you in a game of scrabble.
Even in drag you're still better looking than your sister.
I bought him flowers and fake vampire fangs, cuz there's really not a greeting card that says "Sorry I got wasted last night and started a very sloppy bloodletting ritual.".
Randomize
