i know he has to tuck it when he gets excited in public and all, but now he is just starting to show off.
Girls behind me in the library are trying to outslut each other with stories from last semester. I'm about to set my cock on the table between them and label it "tie breaker"
I was doing the dishes wondering what was with all the tiny little cups, but then I remembered that some people drink things other than huge mixed drinks and big cups of water the next day.
I was so hungover that I had to stop in the middle of the game and throw up. The fans cheered.
I wanted to take a shower but I forgot we made applesauce in it last night.
She bit me. She gave me a brief pity cuddle. I gave her an awkward backrub, somehow I thought it would be a good idea to include the vagina in that. It wasn't.
In honor of the internet blackout, I think everyone needs to change their Facebook pictures to ones of them being blacked out.
How do you think the people in my class would react if I ripped all my clothes off and jumped on him right now?
I just wanted to let u know that I called the taco people and informed them what the fuck is up.
This guy keeps going off in the metal detector. When is it appropriate for me to punch him in the throat just in case?
How bad would it be if I wore out the dress we got peed on in. You're the only one who knows.
If you need anything just hit me up
Pancakes
Noted.
I really wanted to pound but her roomate was making mac n cheese n shit so I was trying to time her moans to the drone of the microwave
You started sleep walking, went to my closet, tried to pee on my boots, and when I asked you what you were doing you said "I'm talking to these people about jobs"
Cancel your plans for the fourth someone is streaming iron chef on twitch
Randomize
