Don't feel obligated to get back to me but I think I just fell in love with a middle aged waitress at the Dennys in waco. She's used but in good condition.
haha I love it when I find out that girls who were mean to me in middle school are now some random dude's baby mama. thanks, facebook.
How do I introduce myself to her without coming off as "the guy who jacks-off to her profile pic"?
He gave me an orgasm with his left hand...and he's right handed. Of course he's a keeper.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm going on a nature/throwup walk. Don't lock me out of the apartment.
well... just scaled a wall and entered the bar through the balcony. just making some last minute memories nbd.
Sarah likes to play this game where she leaves her thongs at every party. she hides them where hopefully gf's will find them. I caught her naked from the waste down in my freezer this morning
Also, drinking coors light. Fuck that. Fuck that in the fucking face.
Just heard the girl at the bar cuss her bf out and order a long island ice tea. Going to give it 5 min then I'm going in. See you on the other side.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Post a pic on facebook and see if those same 46 girls find shitting in the bed handsome and adorable
I just had a great idea for an etsy shop. Sell all the shit bitches leave from one nighters
I threw up in my room. And I cleaned it up with a spatula.
I'm literally beginning to think that my sex dreams are prophesies
And as drunk as I was I was able to show my mom how to make text italicized in Microsoft word
burned my penis with a sauteed onion again.
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