im sorry i didnt take advantage of you..iwaned to
i wanted you to too
she cant drink. allergic to alcohol.
ewwww. she might as well have a dick.
Really? You have stories that rival having a threesome with the two best friends of the guy your kinda seeing? Thats impressive.
i almost got kicked out of the rave because i was trying to get in on some couple's makeout sessions
He knows as soon as he hits chameleon eye status drunk, he is guaranteed to piss the bed we NEED to push him there
I just got released from jail. still in my kilt. bring pants damnit. they won't understand.
pants will make it better? really?
you goin out tonight?
who is this.
your orgasm for tonight
So to distract myself from jackies vomiting, im making up a story in my head. It's called the little penis that could
Getting stoned at work has never been a good idea, but im always more than willing to give it another chance
We haven't even eaten dinner yet and she's already been asked to "take it down a notch" by the groom's mom.
Just had the "whores are people too" talk with Mom. Bright side it's Christmas, and I may have been drunk, I don't think she caught on.
I lost half a toenail and didn't realize it. Bloody shoe shoulda been a clue.
So is it safe to say that my only objective from last night is to finish this entire jar of peanut butter?
I may have just tried to argue quantum entanglement as the reason I was still in her bed.
You peed in the sink and kept shouting "I'm the black swan! Ca-caw!"
Randomize
