what's Bukake?
a bad idea.
So he passed out in the bathroom of the bar, woke up thinking he was somewhere else and called her flipping his shit because he thought she left him. She had to go into the men's bathroom to find him, and then he told her she was "trying too hard to be his girlfriend" over and over again.
Dont they live together now? Havent they been together for like two years?
Yeah. That's the best part. I always thought he was kind of a pussy but turns out he's a degenerate just like us. Welcome
Most awkward thing ever: Meeting your BattleShits opponent post war.
Nothing says Christmas like gin and tears.
It's not just about fucking anymore... We decided we're actually in like now..
I just decorated my birth control case with Lisa Frank stickers. If that doesn't scream 'I'm not ready for babies' I don't know what does.
You know, I never expected to find myself with a roommate who I'd have to ask not to have sex while I'm in the room. And yet, here we are.
Some guy just stopped me in the bar and asked if I had a shot named after me at another bar called God damn my VaJana hurts? He already knew my name was Jana so I couldn't deny it!
Apparently there was a point in the night that they literally thought he was dead, ass naked on the floor. That bad.
The forecast for tonight is alcohol and low expectations.
You're the only meteorologist I listen to.
Seriously I'm not after your cock. It's a nice bonus, like finding $20 in the dryer, but not the reason I hang out with you.
Dude, exfoliate your balls. you'll thank me later.
Sustenance and doggy style.. the only two things I need
OMG OMG OMG I just throwed up in his pillow case when he wentto start the sho wer, time to grab my bra and bounce!!!
Wow.
My theme for the night was drink diego drink! Unfortunately Dora was not there to navigate me to the bathroom
Randomize