ok plan lets look hot and dance like whores.
woke up in a shopping cart using a keystone box as a blanket. how was your night?
she needs to go suck a dildo, because she isn't worth a dick
I'm too high to be shopping. I just contemplated deoderant for fifteen minutes. Now testing pillows
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
there was a guy who was being paid to stand outside of Abercrombie without a shirt on... normally i would be okay with this but he was 40...
yo everyone went to the hospital last night
This is so pathetic it makes me miss snorting lines alone in my room listening to 'one more drink'.
worst part about day drinking... waking up to george lopez
How many people can say they've shit on the floor of a five star hotel?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I told him he wasn't aloud to one word text me. Unless that one word was threesome
so in other words, they broke and fell off and I ate a gummy life saver off of his balls
I'm so bored I talked to the Bible guys for 30 minutes.
I offered them beer last time they came here bahaha
You're going to find someone that you love very much and that loves you, and then you're gonna find an additional person that you literally can't stop staring at from across the room. I feel very confidently about that
So! As of five minutes ago I've officially masturbated in every room in my apartment
Dude, I helped you move in yesterday...
I can't believe the MLB is making the NHL look good.
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