worst. lesbian. ever. i'm not sure she knows a clit from a pencil eraser.
I just puked in the mop bucket at work. I think I need to go home.
just googled chastity belt to see if it really exist..
She's doing shots in her underwear, a fur hat and mittens. I'm never coming home.
Like if there was an award for best way to take a girls virginity, he would get a standing ovation. And first prize. Probably a bunch of roses too. That good.
I owe you a thank you for last night. Only you could go up to a guy, ask if he likes my boobs, and return later to find us in a full on dance floor makeout sesh. Well played.
I was just too high to be in rapids man. I just screamed for the entire time I was jostling about.
ripping the fire alarm off the wall probably seemed like a better idea last night than it really was.
Who gives a hand job to a 19 yr old one night then the next lets a 31 year old random man fly a plane to town and pick u up and take u to dinner?
In other news, people don't judge you when you buy a vibrator if you buy a funny birthday card and bag with it. I learned that this weekend.
Next time a random bus filled with santas pulls up to the bar, I'm not getting on it.
If I get a 4.0 I am doing SO much cocaine.
I shit myself when I came, don't have flu sex
I just saw the co founder of Waffle House passed away Friday. Are you okay?
That's about the same time my life started falling apart... Coincidence?!?!? I think NOT!!!
you would not believe who i just fucked on my lunch break
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