i know we just met, but i forget your name, and i'm wondering why my penis burns?
i had the deer in headlights look when she walked in and i was digging in her hamper
after a month anything with tits is on the radar
were you wearing a green and blue thong last night?
yes! wait why?
because i found it in my pocket this morning...
I guess you can say it's a tradition... whoever brings home the ugliest guy has to do all the cleaning the next day
I cant even remember his name or what he looked like. all I remember is what the tattoo on his forearm looked like.
well, he kindof looked like a walmart greeter. I tried to stop you
Thru out the entire phone conversation I went from thinking: he's making a gay come-on, to he's trying to sell me drugs, before realizing he was offering me a job with an internet company. Things are gonna be awkward in class this week.
Your lack of great college experience of margaritas and foam parties scares me
The best part of that night wasn't even the sex, it was listening to her explain to her boyfriend why she was naked in her room while I hid in her closet.
Just high enough for therapy.
dude he's still passed out in my bathtub. and his dick is half way in a 40 bottle... i really hope he was just trying to piss in it
Oh were you the stripper at that club last Sunday when i was trippin on acid wearing a giraffe outfit?
Sent nudes to my best friend's boyfriend and mom last night. So I'm coping with that on top of my hangover this morning
I can't believe you didn't come out. There was a duckling ON THE BAR!
i like him enough to wash my sheets.. but not enough to finally get that pink lemonade and vodka slushy stain out of my carpet
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