That guy youre talking to looks like Brian from Family Guy.
I can tell how much and what I drank by my morning shits
I wasted my skinny years on you. The least you can do is high five me at the bar
We decided to go to McDs, but we only had a few minutes to make it to breakfast. We were sprinting full speed ahead when she tripped and you just yelled 'LEAVE HER' and kept your course.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Did the math... it's Magna Cum Laude whether I get a 4.0 or a 0.0 this semester. I'm blacking out now, wake me up when I have to walk across the stage,
It's safe to say that bucket of tequila night can NEVER HAPPEN AGAIN.
at what point last night did we decide it was okay to let me hitch hike to another bar?
I got a blow torch for Christmas. You are now permitted to be afraid.
I'm so sexually frustrated I feel like I'm going to kill my turtle
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I told my coworker that I'm going to a dinner party and was asked to bring wine and pregnancy tests and he was like.. I miss being 20
You tried to stop drinking but then she started feeding you tequila with a spoon. You were like an adorable baby bird.
I'm at the store buying a new phone cause I pissed all over mine last night. Drunk me is expensive as shit.
Thanks for DJing my sex last night. You were on point 💜
Married dude I had an affair with 10yrs ago was at table next to us at dinner last nite. My mom asked him to take a pic of us & then commented how cute he was as they left. Do I tell her he’s got a huge D too?
I woke up under a house in Key West
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