Don't you send me to vm
...i apologize for hitting you up so much tonight im just kinda in a little pickle. im going to sleep in my car near u so pretty plz lmk if you head home...
so how do you plan on seducing my econ TA?
by telling him that he has a large supply and that i demand it...in my mouth. it shows him that i'm slutty and that i pay attention in econ
I am getting my wife a tattoo just above her butthole that says, "For entry just add tequila."
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Is it a step in the wrong direction to ask my parents for a kegerator for graduation?
My roomate asked me why she found condoms in the pringles container. I don't know what to tell her
he said something along the lines of "fish can smell fear"
I just had my first boner in 64 days today....glad to find out my fluids are still pumpin
This is literally engraved into my seat "Need crack?" And then there's a number. This isn't real.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Chipotle just hit me... I want to go sit in the corner of the shower and cry until morning.
mom is telling me the setting in which I was conceived
did you know we used to have a pool?
my roommate woke me up with head. more awkward than it sounds.
I'M IN A SPINNING VORTEX OF SELF-HATRED AND HORNINESS
Woke up with a lip tattoo that says "fake news" in case you're wondering about my wellbeing
I turned on Elf, made myself a mojito, and am eating one of a sleeve of Ritz. You tell me if I wanna go out tonight.
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