Anddd after the worst sex of my life, he said.."do you mind taking off the condom, tying it up, and throwing it at the door?" Weird.
So i literally just wrote sorry on my quiz and turned it in.
he came over wasted, used the bathroom, drank some water, and fell asleep holding my hand. what kind of a fuck buddy does that??
She told me to wait on the sofa while she freshened up. She's been in the bathroom for an hour. I have a bad feeling about this.
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The size of her vagina has nothing to do with the size of her heart bro
Santa brought me a 1.75 of wine, and a liter of patron. I probably won't remember Christmas, so don't ask me how it was tomorrow.
my drunken justification for peeing in her closet was that her shoes were ugly
The bartender was shocked when I took the mop bucket from him and told him I'd take care of my friends puke.
It's a journey
And the destination is his penis?
Precisely.
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She was trying to drink out of the beer bong and she thought it didn't work. Little did she know there was no beer in there. Then she got mad at us. Girls.
It turns out my English teacher used to pose for Playboy. She's an inspiration.
I just bottomed with the last unicorn playing in the background. I've hit a new level of gay.
It's not a funeral, it's a celebration of life. Going commando AND braless is really just honoring him!
I woke up naked wrapped in a wolf blanket on the bathroom floor
This is like a walk of shame down memory lane.
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