White coat. Heels.
my mom just walked in on me furiously masturbating while reading twilight. needless to say, im officially out of the closet.
Liz and I are now offficially highest. OH, and your girlfriend may be a vampire. Heads up. SPARKLESSSSS
Put my glitter back.
I have no morals, kinda like you have no standards
None
I've only been here for an hour and I've already made 6 babies cry.
Happy Birthday
You had already cockblocked me. The cops were just an assist.
Day 8 of being sober: Sniffed an empty beer bottle at a restaurent and almost licked it. This is not working
Upside of a two-day migraine: thanks to a prominent "E" in the middle of every pill, I think we can totally pass off Excedrine Migraine as ecstasy to stupid, drunk freshman. This is totally going to happen. That entrepreneurship course is paying off.
Is it weird to say that getting an std with you was kinda romantic?
Would your heart desire to drink copious amounts of alcohol tonight?
it's finals week and we've been blasting country porch drinkin since 10AM. there's been like 4 tweets about hearin us on the other side of campus
QUIT RUINING DICK PICTURE DAY
i had a super strange, mommy/daddy issuestastic, mildly freudian, i-might-as-well-become-a-stripper-now-and-stop-fighting-the-inevitable dream last night :(
I want to get "Patrick Kane" wasted tonight
I am one hundred percent down for that
You have ten minutes starting with this message to get here. Or I'm putting my clothes back on.
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