one word: firstdatebathroomanal
I think I might stay on campus instead of going home for thanksgiving and see how many townies I can hook up with and no one will be around to judge
He yelled out my full name in bed...I felt like I was being scolded.
She offered to massage my back by hitting it with a sparkly purple double dildo... Bi chicks can get creepy
He's still filling me in on the details. mid-table dance i asked to go water skiing?
A guy with no shirt on and a eyepatch just got out of the car beside me. After he slammed his door into mine. This is our hometown.
I really need to find a new way to reward you other than head scratches, nutella and blowjobs.
Wow way to turn my death into an oppurtunity to get laid
UPDATE: WE WILL BE HITTING THE BATMAN PINATA WITH A SWORD
Apparently he walked into the room and started yelling at some huge hairy dude to get out of my room. Except it wasn't my room... Because he was on the fourth floor.
Jill you already won the game by finding a dude who will fuck you in flamingo knee socks. Theres no hope for the rest of us
No one's ever called me intergalactic cocksucker, before.
What does it say about me that I feel completely charmed right now?
If the sex wasn't incredible why would I compare it to cheesy tots
I walked so much yesterday and I was like holy fuck I need to do some cardio apart from sex cause this is ridic
Lucky bitch I'm at work covered in Jeff pee. And my hair smells like beer because I was trying to prove a point about PBR serving multiple purposes.
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