It really wasn't that bad. Well, it was pretty bad, but only in 3 second bursts.
weed, chlorine, and victory. my bed smells like i had sex with michael phelps.
Just shot my load on a stink bug. Thought you should know.
Sitting next to a retarded hot married man on the plane, I got 6.5 hrs to homewreck this shit.
I'm on my fifth double. This night is getting better whether it likes it or not.
I just realized I'm not towing a trailer. I thought this whole drive home I was towing a trailer. Wow too high
we are both sitting on my bed desperately refreshing the order tracking page for dominos.
I need someone to meet me at the end of the road and throw captain morgan at my face like they do with water at marathons
He took a shot, then proceeded to puke into the bucket he was iceing his broken foot in
Theme for your birthday? Beer olympics in S&M costumes? Sounds like a nice little saturday
She was moaning so loud as i walked out of the room her roommates gave me a standing ovation... i think they are next
I'm sorry for gagging during our first time having sex
I was drunk
Please answer
there is a guy passed out on top of me and i don't know what to do. help if you're awake? was anyone anyone expecting someone? maybe he found the wrong room?
This hobo said he can't buy alcohol bc he got in trouble bc a girl sat on his face when he was passed out and misaligned his spine and gave him Alzheimer's so Ali is buying him a bottle. This is Vegas.
How is your new roommate working out
We are drinking at the laundromat. And will probably have sex later. So...pretty good.
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