i mistaked the back of her knee for her vagina
Playing drinking games to Nancy Grace totally counts as "keeping up with current events.."
Shes in the fridge organizing my beer collection. I love having a girlfriend with OCD
I don't know how much more of summer my liver can take.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
If our dicks could shake hands in congratulations they would
you cant ever make fun of my bong's stick on moustache again. its the reason the cop let me keep it and my weed.
If you're knocked up, we're telling everyone it's mine and that the power of our love overcame the inherent reproductive limitations of two vhagines.
Remember camping when you drank 36 beers to yourself in one day and puked in your tent? Ready for round 2?
I fell on my face, puked, and had to be rocked to sleep in a hammock. I'd say Europe is a success
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I never saw such an emotional argument over yellow vs. spicy mustard.
I'm really sorry I hooked up with your student on the dance floor..
If I die on my walk home, please come claim the body. There is $30 in my left shoe for you....for pizza
Said he wanted to wear me as a loincloth. Not sure if sexual or predatory
And with one simple text you can separate the men from the boys...."it's that time of the month."
A girl showed up in my tinder and I have it set to only men... I super liked her because I need a lesbian experience
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