Time to put an end to this 'unprotected sex with crazy girls who have violent exes' trip I've been on so far this summer
There is something about drinking on a golf course and getting with younger women that just really makes me feel at home.
The chick I went home with last night had a happy trail
Then my mouth guard fell out of the hole, so that's how the dog poop got in my mouth.
i think i was tempted to text while we were making out. like i remember holding my phone up behind his head and just staring at it.
he needs a life. he was like frothing at the mouth to cockblock you
Theres a guy in your room wearing a franzi box costume and some girl is in the box giving him head.
Last thing I remember is beer bonging sangria. Dear God.
I NEED ANOTHER LEVEL OF CAPS TO EXPRESS TO YOU THE MAGNITUDE OF MY FADDEDNESS
Would be fun, plus since its in public I'll keep my penis in my pants
He used the term 'cock-staggering' in an email. So needless to say things are going pretty well.
So you can text and rub it at the same time? Bravo.
I can do anything and masturbate, if I truly wanted to.
christmas shopping: 3 hours in the liquor store...
may or may not have entered into a gay civil rights discussion with 6 year olds. Hint: I did.
I've finally become one of those chicks with a taco in her purse.
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