please tell me if i'm home and in my bed
negative
come find me please
a girl in my class is on a twilight fan site and running her fingers on the screen as edwards body comes up.
New pre-game routine....wal-mart bathrooms...quality beers for free...hallelujah
He said they were doing a skit in class apparently someone else is dressed like a horse. Ive never felt more proned to skipping class than now
my mom used to put diet coke in my bottle. i can pretty much handle anything.
He said he forgot to take his shoes off, and that he was a bad boy because he was walking on the carpet. Then he sang. Then he shouted "I'M STILL FORGETTING."
He put up a Facebook album attempting to sell off their Harvard furniture. Items for sale include: his friend, a broken lamp, an item described as a 'carpet and/or sleeping bag', a pair of paint stained cargo pants, size 'Tyler', and a self proclaimed $3 bottle of wine, which he is offering for $2
I would have gladly let him decapitate me with the way he was biting on my neck.
He stopped in the middle of having sex to ask me what shampoo I use. Apparently my hair smelled good
I need a kidney, not a pussy. All the pussy in the world isn't going to save my life. Keep your pussy in your pants and give me a kidney.
I think I'm drunk at the airport. Oh the possibilities
my favorite sex position is the one where no sex actually happens we just get really stoned and eat a lot and watch netflix in the dark
Nothing says "Hello, Adulthood!" quite like receiving a dick photo at 11AM from a guy you haven't heard from since fifth grade.
Wake up. Eat bread. Find your dignity. Don't be late for work again.
I just woke up hand cuffed to the bar and shirtless, so yeah I think I need you to come get me.
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