tonight would not even compare to the night i tried to pee in the living room
yeah my parents were only ten feet away and we somehow managed to do it in five different positions without them noticing
i've decided to use this saturday afternoon to take care of my pube situation
I've wasted nicer days than this hungover and dry heaving in bed.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Also, if you all get arrested i'm coming to laugh at you because i don't have the money for bail.
You screamed "I NEED TO GET THE WHOLE SET!" and then proceeded to try touching everyone's balls in the room
Don't come. It's not even a party it's a total sausage fest. Like 20 drunk dudes in a bedroom. We can still drink by ourselves though it'll be ok
Id prob hit it, but i instagram edited her picture to make her look better. Ha. She should fuck me just for that.
You threw up on his face 22 hours ago and now he's here holding your hand. I think he likes you.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Soooo I think my neighbor just saw me masturbating on my porch
The dysfunction is strong in this one.
Just come home. We will have sex and Taco Bell. I'm feeling wild, I put on temporary tattoos.
ill give you some hints: blood, carnival, fog machine, happy meal.
He asked the waiter, at 6:40 am, drunk, if they served alcohol. After he said no, he's like 'well, I guess we can eat then.'
I really wanted you to make me eggs this afternoon. I even wrote it on my hand to remind myself.
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