i spent 15 mins trying to take money out of ATM with my drivers license saying, "what the fuckkkk" everytime it didnt work
got in a fight at the bar because some dude thought i was being sarcastic when i told him "sweet mustache". it really was a sweet mustache
I don't care. He smelled like a fucking chilli cookoff
The last memory I have is vomiting into a box and her rubbing my back saying "you are such a trooper..."
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Drunk wheelbarrow races might make the top 10 list of dumb shit weve done. Especially considering all the broken glass around...
I'm also glad were at the point in our friendship where my vagina talking to you isn't weird
She handed me her tooth and asked me to hold it so she could swim.
Ok wear gym clothes just in case we feel like going shitfaced to the gym
Next sat night Titanic party. Bring your floaties, trashy necklaces, and a large lung capacity. This ship is going downnnnnnn.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
as he was bent over the toilet, he turned to me and said "barbarian kyle is much stronger than regular kyle" and then went right back to puking.
My dad made a joke about you sending me strippers for valentine's day so clearly everything here is normal
I AM GETTING LAID TONIGHT YES HAPPY DAY PRAISE JESUS ALMIGHTY IN HEAVEN DEAR GOD CHRIST YES DADDY YAAASSS
I like to send nudes ok? If that's my biggest flaw I think I'm ok
I wanted to write an apology letter to my vagina after that.
My FIANCE just told me he thought you were the prettiest out of all my friends YOU WHORE
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