I just bought the big bottle of Patron. It looks small. What have I done with my life?
Succeeded.
I could have mohawked her pubes.
I literally just watched a girl motorboat herself
i fell off the bed in the middle of it, and he yelled "5 second rule" and kept fucking me. i think im in love
before tonight, i was terrified of what tequila would make me do. but all it did was make me hook up with a movie star. sooo basically tequila's my new fave
all you kept saying from the spare room was "can you bring me a puke bowl...and the cat"
Chick took off her bra in the middle of class cuz it was "too hot." How's going out of state feel now?
Also, just saw a kid in a gorilla costume being questioned by a boardwalk cop. I love ocean city.
He passed out. Woke up long enough to declare himself "the sauce boss" and then bit me in the face.
I think her version of saying goodnight was being flung over a guys shoulder as he said, "Bitch. You don't need no shoes."
Come over. We have tacos... And girls who took their clothes off. But mainly, tacos.
I've had sex near too many of the blankets to let our parents touch them like this
Hypothetically, I throw a party and my ex-boyfriend and my current fuck buddy are in the same house... what should I do?
How many beds are in the house? Hypothetically...
90% sure I just sold adderall to my professor
100% proud
So the makeout sesh? Not so great. His stubble rubbed my face raw, he tried to push me towards auto-erotic asphyxiation, and he licked my forehead. Twice.
Randomize
