Fun fact: tonight on intervention was the guy who did my tattoo
you mean i was at the winter classic?
Well, of course, to the untrained eye I look like a slut.
It was honestly like finding a clitoris in a haystack.
Just coerced a Santa to buy me a handle. Tis the season.
I met her tumbling down the stairs chugging Captain Morgan. I'm not sure why she has the better reputation either.
Whatever dude, I don't feel bad about it. If my girlfriend finds out even SHE should give me a high five. That bitch was fine
The TA leading my study session just said "now get outta here. I need to get drunk before class"
I'm sorry. I just realized our 'big night out' ended up being you driving my high ass to get burritos and back.
The straight guy here is hot. He described himself as Christian grey without the money and my vagina fell out of my body
We were talking when all of a sudden she reach and started squeezing my dick and goes "nice." and then just kept the conversation going like nothing happened.
I'm pretty sure I asked his brother if he was gay while drunkenly falling to the ground.
Who's the captain of your team? Captain Morgan as usual?
And me
She said my penis was powerful and magnificent
Had a dick customer and the words "eat my ass" slipped out. He proceeded to lick his lips and say present it. I think it's time I quit.
Randomize
