My husband just tried to seduce me by saying we can do it doggystyle so you can watch tv
I woke up this morning and I couldn't find my coffeetable. wtf?
Picture Ja Rule and 50 Cent having a sexy full grown love child son...He's on my bus right now, wearing an outside jacket with no shirt underneath. My fashion sense and libido are fighting it out.I'll keep you posted on who wins.
how the FUCK am I supposed to macarena while doubble fisting?
yeah, he just sent me a picture of himself with his shirt off.... It didnt turn me on, it just made me want to buy him a big mac....
At one point I was double fisting both beer & ice cream. I love public events in this town.
I feel as though I could trust her, I mean she did tell me she was married before we had sex.
She used the introduce me to her roommates so she could find out my name trick the next morning..I may be in love.
I've awoken at 3am again, in a night terror, just thinking about how big his dick was.
Do you have any booze?
Well I have 60 feet of bubble wrap and a bottle of wine...but I'm saving that for a special girl...
Unless your apartment has 3 am pancakes Im not coming over.
You were too drunk yesterday to deal with me crying so I am too drunk to deal with logic.
I just had sex on my kitchen counter. It's like the American dream
woke with Taco Bell next to me in bed and people's shoe sizes written on my arm.
HE LEFT ME THE DAY AFTER I LET HIM PEE ON ME. If you date him after that, I'll leave the fucking PLANET.
Randomize
