This is clearly one of those "A hole's a hole" situations
'hiiiigh' is saved in my t9 for a reason
I just found ouut you can get a DUI in a kayak. Fuck.
I found bruises on my neck from barfing out the window.
The office pool is up to $500 if you take a shit in Frank's desk drawer. Time to change the unpaid internship into a cash cow.
please come home... she's showing me videos of spanish parrots and is telling me about her dead cousin...
Believe it or not, Travis and I simultaneously breaking beer bottles over eachothers heads was not a good idea.
Let's just say after this weekend I'm known as Shameous the Irish bar fighter.
And I'm bringing my coffee cup of wine.
Blow jobs in the hobby lobby parking lot, oh lawd there gonna pray for me when they review those tapes ...
Bring me that man meat
THAT HOSPITAL MADE ME REALIZE THAT I'M BISEXUAL
Welcome to your 30’s, where every one night stand is most likely with someone’s father
Thanks for not letting me choke to death on my vomit last night
Thank you for attempting to organize my DVDs in chronological and alphbetical order
I can't believe I slept with a girl who has the words shucks in her vocabulary. I'm getting less picky by the day..
Randomize
