it felt like I walked into a Tool Academy challenge
Just because your phone has a case on it doesn't mean it will survive a 5 story drop out the window.
She was so wet my fingers were literally pruney when I got done with her
she won't be coming home tonight because she tried stealing a baby giraffe from the zoo
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
so apparently i worked out for over an hour last night. drinking is the only way i will ever get anything done
I woke up with a solved rubics cube in my purse
I don't really want to explain to you right now but i just ate laundry detergent
Some dude gave me a questioning look as I came out of the women's toilet. I just responded 'blowjob' and he understood, then shook my hand.
He said he had a problem he needed to take care of before we got omelets and then showed me his erection.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Strike three, the fat brides maid they call shit puker also has herpes.
Everything smells like blood and olive oil.
So. I need to gloat. I couldn't exactly tell my family that I won this game by deep throating.
EW HE LOOKS LIKE SOMEONE'S DAD
how early is too early to start drinking over the gilmore girls revival
We lost you in the bar so we waited outside for you...next thing you know you kick open the doors and yell "I'M ALIVE"
Randomize