Yo I'm just eating dinner now. U ready to go out?
Ya ya. Where you eating?
Cereal and beer. U kno u want in.
I cant find my shoes, my wallet, or my keys, but i know where your sister is.
It started with Hannah Montana and ended with alcoholism.
I just took went to the bathroom and it smelt like blue curococo... I didn't flush yet so head on up if you wanna know what a good night smells like.
Just threw up at the bar from the heat. Fun change of pace.
You do realize I got a panda tattooed on my ass just to get you laid, right?
Your brother came in a girls mouth for the first time last night... Ah the tales told whilst buying minors beer.
Freedom, beauty, truth, and love to all. I also probably have syphilis
Who wouldn't want a man who can knock a guy out but also loves the bachelor.
It's the best of both worlds
When she sees your dick for the first time, tell her it glows blue when orcs are close
He wanted me to strip for him. I told him that we aren't at that serious of a fuck buddy relationship yet
Please come quick there are people in suits here judging me
My old dealer would be proud of the drug cocktail I just took for my back pain.
dude the water is back on, you can stop shitting under the tree . . .
Not having a reliable dick in is getting expensive. I’ve had to replace 3 vibrators since Mike and I split up
Randomize
