Are u religion class? I'm on my way, I have cum in my hair. tell u later.
i hope kanye doesn't show up to patrick swayze's funeral. " i'll let you get back to your funeral in a minute...but michael jackson had the best death of the year. just sayinnn ".
First order of business is dropping my 9 am gym class. I'm sweating pure vodka.
Dude I think I vomited on the wireless internet box too...it isnt working.
and PS, please don't fuck in the corn maze, k?
Ya I painted "STOP TRYING ANAL" on her headboard. I'm sick of listening to her whine through the wall and bitch the next day.
P.s. remind me to tell you about the porno that Paul envisioned starring you. It's wizard of oz themed.
I just woke up tangled in fishing line while wearing someone else's bathing suit with fishes drawn all over me. What kind of sex did we have?
... I threw up in the shower this morning
You were "I'm not drunk" drunk.
I was feeling sad so bedroom vodka seemed like the best solution at the time.
And is it bad that I haven't talked to guys who I haven't already dated? I feel like a recycle bin.
Well, I tried to shit into my refrigerator. It was a rough night.
If God invented something better than rough, drunken, lesbian sex he kept that shit to himself.
By NOT going to the gym, I'm helping my future. I don't want stripping, prostitution, or porn to be viable money making options.
He's gonna do me a solid for doing her a solid. It's like pay it foward. But with sex.
my very deepest apologies for the unintentional cock block.
Randomize
