The jonas brothers playing in your laptop. This is why guys won't sleep with you...
Anthony wouldn't know good sex if it sat on his face
i love marijuana more then i could love a human baby.
I go to guys houses late at night, have a little fun, come back by dawn having made their life a little bit better. I am the official blow job fairy.
Hands down, the girl passed out in the bathroom was the best looking. Concious or not.
Her husband keeps getting drunk and making out with me. Good news is I found the strep carrier. Bad news is have strep again.
It's Christmas week. I wouldn't know what to do if i wasn't hung over.
Beautiful fucking linguistics Shakespeare, but youre still not doing that to my face
Please show REO speedwagon ur boobs for me.
I mean, "boo" isn't the appropriate response to someone dying...
he just fucked me for my cheese..
Is there something wrong with us? Seriously.
Possibly, but I'd rather not fix it.
My bed smells like the plague
Wait. How did I get engaged last night?
I mean that was the nicest way to be dumped by some one I wasn't dating.
Randomize
