I would fuck her until my dick fell off. then i would fuck her with your dick.
i wonder what thom yorke's orgasms sound like
He is in the front yard trying to catch birds out of the air with a fishing net.
I was trying to sing daddy wasnt there from austin powers but apparently I was crying and and yelling jibberish...I get to into this shit
Woke up this morning on my doorstep in a basket with a branch, a lipstick lightning bolt on my head and a sign that said "the boy who lived." i love you guys.
Free tacos and bad night are never used in the same sentence
we had break-up sex in a port-a-potty. how do you think it went?!
I don't think I even want to know why you are sending my husband pictures of your nutsack.
Just found out my rents have been paying my siblings to cockblock me for the past 5 years
Not as covert as you thought huh?
Good thing my vagina doesn't have a chronometer on it. I'm sure my fiance would be horrified. Probably 10 miles from this past weekend alone.
I woke up with my wool blanket soaking wet on the dorm room floor, and my sweatshirt hanging on the shower door down the hall. So basically my camp-out-in-the-bathroom idea didn't turn out as planned
Forced to cancel my booty call due to the snowpocalypse. This crosses the line.
She's the queen of dating. She managed to get a date with a guy who saw her puke five times in two hours.
WHY DID HE INTRODUCE ME TO HIS MOM? CAN'T HE JUST HIDE ME LIKE EVERYONE ELSE I'VE EVER DATED?@!
This couple is walking their pig around campus
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