We should write a comic book about the many adventures of your vagina. Maybe even give it a cape or something.
I just saw a guy give a mop to his fat wife and say "Look, an exercise stick!"
Astroglide: It's like Bengay for your ass.
i don't think my family understands the severity of a twenty first birthday.
I just don't know what he sees in my vagina...and that scares me.
I haven't seen him since I gave him a hand job in the hospital. I like to think I contributed to his speedy recovery.
Using the balance in my bank account I just calculated how many fifths of vodka I can buy this year. Don't let me buy food, all my money is reserved for alcohol
I am in his childhood bedroom and I feel like his trophies are applauding me and his stuffed bunny is disgusted with me. Did you know he was a mathlete?
I was mid-sentence and you stopped me and said, "Yeah.. for my vaginas sake, I'm gonna need you to stop talking right now."
wrestling a boy for fruit? sounds suspiciously like foreplay...
Sorry man, but I'd rather do drugs with strangers than watch sports with you. It's not personal, drugs always beat sports.
But seriously. What possible excuse could I come up with to ditch my parents on Christmas to go fuck him?
forgot to tell you your neighbor walked out of her house this morning just as I was leaving shirtless
I think it was a smart move. Quickest way to get over a guy, hook up with his friends.
I think I gave the bachelor party directions to the breweries next to my dentist so that they could take me to my appointment and pick me up afterward...
Randomize
