Partly cloudy chance of praying to the porcelin gods
it was like fucking gandolphs beard
The maintenance guy at work just asked me out for a drink. For once, I proudly said that I was 20.
Lil wasted at a baby shower. Here's to beating teen pregnancy BOTTOMS UP
I tried giving you a bj last night and all you could manage was "Haha that tickles" and "in the morning"
If it looks really sketchy and smells like burnt pizza and pot you're in the right place
Omfg amy I'm not kidding you I think a blow job is what landed me in the hospital
Is it sad that I have better conversations with his roommate before or after sex than I do with him in general?
Atlanta road trip update. Jimmy fell into the petting tank at the aquarium. And freaked out. With cops now... Keep you posted
Shirtless guy staggering down the sidewalk, puking into a Prada shopping bag. Ahhh, the walk of shame in Boystown.
Then he rubbed shampoo all over my arm and shouted, "Garnier FUCK THIS."
I asked him if we could switch positions so I could watch the Olympics... I'd say date number two is a miss
Dude. Got a sore throat. Don't know if it's because my body is rejecting Michigan or cause of the bad ass blow job I gave last night
Its okay. I just know how you can text with your hands cuffed behind you back, so I had no idea what "oh shit" meant.
there must be tiny pirates in the freezer stealing our rum.
Randomize
