You're only the seventh guy she's ever kissed. Somesones gunna get EPICALLY stalked
what if the hokey pokey really is what its all about?
There are babies in the room i shouldnt be high with babies in the room.
Random girl at this party just gave me a lap dance in a la-Z-boy. Night significantly improved.
You know we had a good night last night when today I opened up my Google Translate application and the language is set to Persian and the phrase to translate is "I want you to suck my dick".
So it's always a good weekend when you don't get any sleep, try opening a bottle of wine on rocks, and end up needing a tetanus booster for our stupidity... Same thing next weekend?
There are reggae songs being written about me...where have I gone wrong in life?
He is so sweet! He thanks me for sending him dirty pix. I should keep him.
you got to sleep with him and don't even remember it? that's like sleeping through an entire vacation
yeah...well...life isn't all puppies & lap dances
Dude I should have just gone home with the guy with dreads and the cat
If I had a vagina, my apartment would have been the Atlantic
I wish I were single again so I could actually have sex.
I'm sorry I keep having sex wth your friends. I'm done, for real. Unless cole is interested. Other than that, I'm done.
I was just tongue fucked into oblivion.
Randomize
