A 14 year old with a teardrop tattoo just tried to sell me weed. I'm in the wrong fucking neighborhood.
nutella sex= disaster
ONE NIGHT STAND. You have 27 minutes before the offer expires, so I suggest you hurry.
Important info for allergy season. An orgasm will unblock stuffy sinuses.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Hickey on my chest, threw out my elbow and now walking out my shame.
Youre getting too old for this
I just remembered you had me meet your law professor while I was wasted...how'd that go?
gave him road head on the way to his grandparents house. purposely didn't let him finish, the sexual tension over turkey was indescribable.
Drunk naked twister. My place. Heath is trying to use his dick as a third leg.
Saying you need a hooker then asking me to have sex is NOT the way to get laid. Booty call 101.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He has blue eyes of sex and i am powerless against them
Doesn't tell me where my computer chair went but good to know
I'm finally in my bed, my pants are off, and there's no pee on my carpet this is the best life has been all day
Split a bottle of Johnny Walker and then decided to eat a shit ton of peanut butter. That was a rough bed to wake up in
the moment when you open a dick pic with your mom in the car... On your moms phone... Of your dad... Scarred for life
Drunk sperm are not productive sperm.
If walking through the neighborhood with a bottle of tequila and margarita mix is postgrad life, I'm okay with it
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