I'm drinking while I write this paper. When I can't see the screen anymore I'm gonna come out
Does adding vodka to a protein shake defeat the purpose?
he said 'i love fucking you, ashley'. it was the most romantic thing he's said during sex because he actually used my name.
Her husband keeps getting drunk and making out with me. Good news is I found the strep carrier. Bad news is have strep again.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
did you dip my ponytail in franzia? its the only thing i can think of to explain my hair right now.
no i had to finish in the bathroom to a pic of her mom in a bikini.
I'm seeing how long I can hold this wine in my mouth. I have so many adventures! I'm like Teddy Ruxpin!
cops woke me up on the sidewalk and asked where my shoes are.. fuck if i know, im sleeping on the sidewalk! actually i didnt say that, i just cried until they gave me a ride home.
I think we need to stage an Intervention. Her Instagram is a call for help.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My penis is saying yes, several less important organs are saying noo...
The problem with drugs is that there's none in this hotel
The problem with drugs is that showing my boobs only gets so much of them
But did u die
I found an onion in my purse
when I found u, u were using a t-shirt for pants
I hate closet cases. I've been wooing this chick the entire quarantine. We finally meet up tonight, we're two drinks in, I've got my hand half way up her skirt and her husband calls. She promised to bring home dinner.
He sided with his father, so I slashed his tires. I’d say that’s a fair trade.
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