Seeya bye Latvian government! Whammy!
i wonder if she has dreads down there too...
when we were having sex and i started crying and telling you i missed you..why couldnt you stop and tell me how you felt or make me feel better?you kept going...
I thought he was joking about bailing you out until I saw the picture of you and the sheep in the morning paper. Were those my boots you had on it
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I lost count of how many people I peed on last night.
He sat there and debated the pros and cons of hooking up with me
Either you made a spaghetti vodka smoothie last night, or you puked in the blender.
Mandatory 420 Adventure Time.
This is why we're friends.
I found some video of you on my camera that's like 5 seconds long, where you announce that you should have been a dentist before taking a bong hit.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm a professor! I can't be caught chasing the liquor with you hooligans once the undergrads have seen my face
last thing I remember is yelling 'sit on my face' through a traffic cone
im questioning your sanity while also accepting your reality
His condition for us having sex was that I wore my show boots. #equestrianproblems
people keep driving by and judging me for drinking natty outside in my underwear at 9 am. rude.
in the past 2 days I've ruined2-3 lives, made 2 men quit the bar, started a Wednesdays only affair, ended it, ruined that engagement and had my tires slashed by a jealous bouncer. please stop letting me out....
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