I totally ignored my nose and drank sour milk this morning. The tupid carton said 4/22/09. i puked everywhere..
my dad wants uyo to call him right now...reverse drunk dialing
Dude I can't believe you let me go home with the wildabeast lastnight.
You always hook up with hot girls we had to know you were mortal
hahahahahahhahahahaha. 26, Dominican, has a funny accent, thinks I'm hot. Tots boning.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
we better have passed that bar exam - i dont want to have to drink like this again
How was I supposed to know she would get offended when I asked her how long it took to draw on her eyebrows.
She posts like 3 statuses a day pleading for pity. Responding positively would be like giving a dog a treat for shitting on the floor.
Ps if we're still living vicariously through each other, you had sex on a beach last night
all my mom knows is what I put on facebook. So... I mean... She knows we drink a lot.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She deserves a chance to suck my penis. This is America. Its her God given right.
In the middle of our bar crawl last night we stopped to pet dogs at a dog park. who would let a drunk person bet play with their dog???
Also I'm at the pub and there are old lady pirates gyrating on a pole. I wish you were here.
Do not, I repeat, DO NOT uncuff him no matter how much he begs. He knows what he did.
i just swapped my iPhone for a happy meal. this is greg btw, the hooker let me borrow her phone
Well, he was practically tripping over his dick to get to me so I'd say my new dress was successful
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