Just found 50 pesos and a coke spoon in my dads old shit. Gotta love the 70s
just woke up and this girl had my cellphone nestled in the front of her thong. i kept thinking "is this a trap?"
what is the aproppriate waiting time between having sex and playing super Mario brothers
6 min
I'm in new territory... I've never had to convince a guy to let me give him head as an apology.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I need to stop fucking people before I get to know them
It's my fault there's ramen coiled around his penis.
So fucked up. Can't tell if I'm starving or about to puke. Playing it safe and eating froot loops. Tasty in, colorful out.
She came over and gave me a handy and then just lingered for a day and a half. Worst weekend ever.
You said that about some fat chick sitting on the base of a lamp post and puking. Downright heroic.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
2000 dollars has been put in for bail money. Also we're signing contracts
I created a photogrid for every picture he has ever sent me of his penis. Now I can see every angle at one time. THIS IS GREAT.
My book, "How to Live With a Huge Penis" was delivered today. Can't wait to read it in public.
My sweat smells like Wild Turkey. I'm really feeling the holiday spirit.
If I had a dollar for every functioning brain cell you had I would owe someone a lot of money
He wants to play improv games now whenever he gets drunk. Sometimes I just do not have the energy for that kind of a thing
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