think what you will about my sexuality, just get the cigarettes
You just took 4 shots. 2 of them were maple syrup.
I've slept with so many tools that you'd think my pussy was Home Depot.
just fyi, hangover + ice skates = really bad idea
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i need to know the scientific term for a guy's taint so i can explain what i did last night.
I have a cup of vodka in my bathroom with a straw in it. Yes, I am ready for this bikini wax.
i'm having the hardest time convincing my roommates to go dumpster diving for pizza with me. i really miss you..
I feel like we should actually go to church one of these days to thank god for saving us from herpes and babies.
She told me she's dating him because his apartment is a block from Taco Bell. I don't know how she's not fat.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
No, they seem attractive after SIX beers, after three they're just the gender you're looking for.
One minute you were celebrating, the next you were bleeding all over your Nikes.
Found my id. It was in the cats litter box. Seriously what was last night.
I'm a bit broke right now... Would it be OK if I pay you in champagne and Xanax?
there's still a lot i don't remember, like why my iphone's nailed to your wall
She dry humped my leg in the raw while I was still dressed, came, and then fell asleep on top of me. All I got was a bruised thigh. 2020 needs to end.
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