you kept lifting my skirt up, yelling "PANTY PARTY". needless to say, you're at the top of my father's shit list right now.
he was CRYING into my vagina
I just looked at my iPhone gps history... "the gas station", "the park with a big scary fence", "the trampoline", and, my favorite, "where we were when we were about to do lines off a bible".
we just got kicked out of the mexican restaurant. i have a full pitcher of margarita's hiding under my coat.
at least i was responsible enough to take off my shoe and throw up in it
You kept hugging the big bouncer & feeling the other ones beard
You should know me better than that. I don't whore around. I promise this is a blowjobs only kind of trip.
Im just saying it can't be that bad if he drove himself to the er. We'll head that way when we finish playing scattergories
She's in the bathroom. Literally just told me she could make a guy cum using just her words. Not bad for Sunday brunch.
He held the beaver pelt from the fireplace over my crotch and asked his friend "she look familiar now?", he then remembered my name.
He's a doctor now.. hope he can cure his small dick
Aka I'm headed to the liquor store because I don't know how to handle my emotions.
Getting on a bus with a beer pong table. I am proof we can make this campus fun.
Already drunk, almost got in a fight with a bunch of irish chicks. And another with canadians. On my way to get a tattoo. I plan to regret this trip.
He told us when he was 10 he started shoving bars of soap up his ass for pleasure so i winked at him
Randomize
