Told a girl i wanted to feel her bellybutton from the inside... I need to learn how to flirt
Got to see someone fall down the stairs while holding hot coffee and a folder full of papers. Best Monday ever.
he just wrote my ten page research paper for tit pics. i love my boobs.
does drinking everclear count as brushing your teeth? because i think they are sterilized
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I heard that if you win you get to have sex with me. You guys really need to stop wagering my vagina.
Omg!!!! Call me in the morning I just saw A stripper queef out a dollar
She just got in car wreck. Wreck sex is better than break up sex
Woke up with the note 'going outside. Ignore bloody spoon. Be back soon' taped to my forehead. Know anything about it?
We should tie ourselves together anytime there is any type of alcohol involved. It's the safest way. I either end up with freshmen or weird ex bfs. You end up with a large cowboy. This is not good for us
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
i feel like i am carryihg a baby. a baby made of alcohol.
She brought over her portable harddrive and we dueled with porn. This relationship is too beautiful to last.
Just ushered a raccoon across the street so yeah.. Good night
I made out with drunk Joe Dirt and then put his mullet wig on for him. True Halloween romance.
Dude what is wrong with me. I'm like a strong independent woman and shit.
Hitting up all my dealers for my birthday grams is paying off
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