i just made a list of the people i have slept with. is it bad that some of them are just either names of the places i met them or the color of the shirts?
i also rounded the number up for good measure. i am sure there are a few i have forgotten about.
whatcha mean you cant get rid of genital warts? thats not what my girlfriend says
Currently looking for a new liver on ebay. Struggle.
i just used burnetts to get spraypaint off the floor of my dorm lobby
Do you know a sam ****, im at the bar right now and lookin for some dirt on her to guilt trip her in to sex
Just saw Youth in Revolt. There are only so many times Michael Cera can lose his virginity.
Pre-St Patricks Day Log: Threw up across a 14ft radius, this is why the irish dont drink tequila
He walked me home last night across campus while i fed him pasta out of a solo cup at 3 am.
I just got checked out by a paramedic whilst their sirens were on. I'm doing something right
Like, I just want to be naked rolling around in soft things.
They called it unicorn pee, and i thought that was interesting so i drank it. Please don't let me drink strangers booze again.
Can we make a pact that if we're 40 and still sluts that aren't married we can get civil unioned the fuck up and raise an asian baby as our own?
don't act like you've never hung your towel on your dick after getting out of the shower
I will feed you tacos. I will touch your butt. Happy Valentine's Day ❤️
I would definitely ride that dick into the sunset if nuggets are involved
Randomize
