did you seriously just ask me if there is such thing as a sophisticated batman shirt?
small problem..I have a major exam in the morning so I might have to go to the library after the party
so no drinking for you?
don't be silly
What'd you guys eat?
Literally everything that was frozen.
So can you tell me who's underwear is on the cat?
There are 3 pics of me on my camera, naked, wearing only an apron, scooping ice cream.
Just because you were able to pour the entire bottle of wine into 2 glasses does not mean you took it easy last night.
Her boyfriend only talks to me because I know her period schedule
remember, YOU ARE A WINNER
my dinner was a box of cheezits simultaneously mixed in with cocoa puffs and fried rice.
Well the police had to intervene and I couldn't exactly feel my legs by the end of the night, but I'd say it was a successful Friday night.
Tell me you didn't really piss in the hookah.
She asked if I could convince him so shave that shit off his face so he'll have a snowball's chance in hell of getting laid.
Everything was yummy and fruit flavored and five alive and happymeas.
The shit I just took made me regret every life decision leading up to it.
I mean he did ask and he said it's cold out but i didn't realize we were that comfortable hahaha sex is one thing but borrowing a sweatshirt?
Locking that text forever.
I changed his contact info to "NO" and a picture of satan
Randomize
