Well I thought that next 8 ball would either kill us or turn us into Gods
:( I'm sorry!!!
sexual favors sorry?
absolutely not
I un-blacked out around 7am watching J.lo videos on youtube
Caught my drug dealer jacking off. I think this is a new step in our relationship
Side note: I think I fell asleep holding a cereal box
mary just dropped the yahtzee dice in her wine. and shes throwin em like shes on a craps table.
hahahaha slap the bag.
its like..once you have one emotional drunk night, you can't stop. i feel like i have to end every drunken night in tears and i dont think my roommates think it's heartwarming anymore
No, your dick is problems. Anyone you fuck haunts us for the rest of the semester. If you need to get laid, I'll personally drive you out of state.
no. i discovered the *exact* amount of drugs i need to do to understand calculus.
How does a law student 15 days away from graduation prepare for a pass fail final? Drinking beer, eating thick cut bacon, and watching game of thrones, that's how
Pretty sure I'm about to get another tattoo. It'll have mom in there somewhere for Mother's Day.
I have work in an hour and I'm having trouble with concepts such as 'staying upright' and 'staying conscious'. Tie me to your wrist next time we go out drinking,
I'm putting his belongings the garage sale so he can buy his own stuff back. # divorced life. Thanks for cheating on me you tone deaf dick biscuit that'll be $20. Haha.
I preemptively put on a cape before eating a bunch of weed brownies. Best decision ever.
He tried to grab your ass, but he grabbed my hand cause I grabbed your ass first. I saved your ass..literally. Your welcome.
Randomize
