it's business casual sex. like no kissing, shake hands after, occasional frequency
so i told him i still liked him. he laughed
well, your crazy. what did you expect?
i just remember sitting on this bed, naked, STILL WITH A CONDOM ON, and suddenly these random girls were in the room shouting at me
My dealer threw in a "freestyle rap" today with my purchase. I dont know if I can handle this relationship.
I peed in a 7/11 last night. Like literally pretended I pretended I was shopping, looked around, and peed on boxes in the corner. No more tequila
Hon, I found you crying into a bathrobe in the back of a closet with a broken shoerack.
You have no idea what this goes for my ego. I literally made you cum in your sleep.
Gonna be hard to top last New Year's Eve when the guy I blew came at midnight
Last night she walked off and disappeared from everyone got home at 330 and said she went to the casino with her cab driver.
Also you know what's irritating? When the guy you're sleeping with refuses to like any of your Instagram posts
I'm not dealing with this wiskey dick shit, 2016 is the year of hard dicks
My friends say stay away from him but it’s still 2017 so I’m allowed to make shit decisions until midnight hahah
My fire has petered out without you
My Peter has fired out without you
That might be the most romantic thing you’ve said to me, unfortunately.
Found my paycheck. It was in the freezer
Oh the sweet dreamless sleep of drugs
You? On what? Why?
Randomize
