One girl and one boy is just not enough.
he threw mangos from the tree he was in at people and got arrested for harassment
i wish there were pregnant emoticons
He chugged from a bottle of wine and then we had pretend sex
How do you have pretend sex?
It was bad...so it was pretend
Sometimes, when I pour the powdered creamer in my coffee I like to pretend it's Colombian grade cocaine.
That's the kind of morning coffee a girl could welcome the day with.
Nothing like a little anal leakage to start off Sunday morning. Can't decide if that speaks well of my weekend or not...
Just watched a drug bust from the Ralphs parking lot while listening to Frank Sinatra. Happy Valentine's Day.
And by hung out you mean you were in my bed for 5 minutes while your penis was in my mouth.
the cops were hovering over him then shinned a flashlight to the floor above ours, then I realized that some fucker jumped from the third story.
fuck our hall.
Apparently im getting a reputation for how i mix drinks. Im the midas of booze. Everything i touch turns to koolaid.
it's a simple rule - pass out shirtless on the couch, become an airsoft target.
My mouth taste like pussy and my dad noticed. Hahahaha
When he was going down on me I referred to him as "Lord Snow" and HE GOT IT. HE GOT THE GAME OF THRONES REFERENCE. I AM IN LOVE
I ended up snorting coke while wearing a Bavarian dress and I feel like I need to reevaluate my life
I've got 3 hot dudes surrounding me. It's the Bermudick Triangle.
Randomize
