It's not real sex if he's just convulsing inside of you.
Dude, the girl next to me just farted. Worst part, it smells like astroglide
I found a girl on our couch wearing lederhosen this mornig... I dont know if i should be impressed or ashamed
Just found the book "How to Stay Christian in College" on my roommates desk. At a loss for words...
I think they can follow the trail of blood to my house if they have a problem with me taking a dip in their hot tub last night b4 stepping on a broken bottle
I was topless in his bathroom sink taking bong rips , goodmorning . He told me he could get use to this
I didn't know he had a girlfriend until after we had sex when he said, "Man I really gotta stop cheating on my girlfriend."
ask me again when I'm sobewr aka tuesday
What the hell man, you basically stole my girlfriend with a bucket of KFC.
This snow needs to melt so I can get wasted on someones front lawn
my sex drive just dried up, fell out, and is rolling on the floor somewhere.
After we hooked up he started to cry and called his mom and told her he wanted to marry me
Moral of the story - don't craft naked. Your nipples with thank me.
It's my day off, I'm going to Target to check out Moms in yoga pants
Two grav bong hits and a shower later and I'm ready for company
It's like you say things that speak to my soul on a deep personal level
Randomize
