Oh please. You given/recieved a handjob out in public. I think that shy ship has sailed.
used foursquare to find where i am. please come get me. this is the scariest bedroom ever.
You're barking up the wrong lesbian.
Now go wash the fat girl off your hands.
I've seen people win free drinks for a lot less dude, no need to drop trou on a piano.
Sometimes I have to make sure these messages are going to you and I'm not about to give someone in my phone book a heart attack.
My Tinder date from last night is my Uber driver for tonight's Tinder date...neither of us said a word.
I'm shotgunning a meatball sub and watching flip or flop. i have reached a new level of singledom.
My friends got engaged today and I learned the techniques of going upside down on a stripper pole. I'm not really sure who won...
The last time the Patriots won the Super Bowl I lost my virginity. I can only imagine what'll happen if they win this year.
So it's my mom's birthday and I wanted to be super cheap and just walk up to her and say "I got you the greatest gift ever, mom! I'm actually sober right now!".
Wait an hour then go and untie him. Bring toilet paper and some spare underwear. Want anything from Starbucks?
I have seen you puke and 5 mins later rock my world. So there is hotness there that average people will never see..
the yoga instructor with the "dirt" and "roots" tattoos is seriously mother nature. i get my period after ever session i have with her. i'm trippin' balls over it.
FYI there's a girl here with happy daddy written on her tits
Randomize