We're having the conversation about what happened last night, all we can come up with is that we came home, drank two litres of lemonade, I took one of her seizure pills and we fell asleep with sabrina the teenage witch on
You can't be mad because the taco bell people like me and not you. I'm not the one that puked in front of them.
Drank a fosters this weekend and last weekend. Listening to down under 5 times a day. Spent 100 dollars on a sleeveless men at work shirt circa 1983. We don't leave for another 5 weeks. I call it pregaming.
Well, if he didn't want to get caught mid-gay experience by his girlfriend, he shouldn't have pushed so hard to do MDMA with me.
You don't want any of I have. Seriously. Its 80 proof rum that was 8 bucks for a liter. I'm afraid
I'm sure your liver is writing out a will as we speak
The picture that pops up when I call her phone is a picture of my nipple. Just so you're forewarned.
This is what we do on Thursday nights. Spray tans, blunts and drawing pictures of cats.
Cocaine can totally be concealed as MAC finishing powder. Drug dealer creds just went up 120 percent
I got so drunk at the hockey game I bought everyone behind me in concession line a funnel cake.
Taco trucks are like ice cream trucks for drunk adults. They should have a mariachi tune they play super loud to bring people out of the bars for tacos.
Blocking me on Facebook doesn't change the fact that you've had my penis in my mouth. So there's that.
They've taken all the lighthearted fun out of S&M.
I know I don't have feelings for him because I feel completely ashamed every time after we have sex
From what I heard you ordered him to lick your balls. Unless you've kept a huge secret I understand his confusion.
The moment buddy the elf found out he was human is exactly like the moment I realized I was gay
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